Hiding Is the Mistake
Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
Proverbs 28:13
I had a good time my junior year of college. I knew I was shirking my school work to enjoy the pleasures of college life, but I kept the façade of being a dutiful student up to my father. I knew that continuing my ways would only lead to worse results and greater consequences, but I was already in trouble. Rather than shamefully admitting my failure, why not let it ride… just for a while longer. So instead of correcting my path, my shame extended my disobedience. Repentance had no guarantee of success, so I chose the path that guaranteed failure. I had never seen my father so angry, nor have I since.
Shame is a difficult emotion to examine, and our reaction to it can be either problematic or helpful in our relationship to God. Shame can bring on a sense that we are unlovable and undeserving. Instead of seeking grace, we may wallow unproductively in self-pity or escape our distress through worldly pleasures or adorn ourselves with lies so that none may see our shame. How silly in God’s eyes must Adam and Eve have looked, adorning themselves with fig leaves and pretending that all was well (and blaming others for their faults).
How disappointed must God have been when an idle David, in his shame at not joining his men to defend Israel, found distraction in Bathsheba.
In his shame, the prodigal son wallows in filth rather than face the potential wrath of his father.
If we let it, our shame can drive us from God. We put on our fig leaves and hide, while our relationship with God suffers. The more it suffers, the more we seek acceptance through the world. Eventually, we consider ourselves beyond help.
Feeling unlovable and undeserving is common, which only highlights the magnitude of Christ’s work on the cross. Our disobedience deserves the shame we feel, but it’s not a whip to drive us from His fold. We should realize that God uses shame among the faithful as a corrective measure to change our course. It’s an emotional manifestation reflecting the injustice of our disobedience. Its presence should not trigger a flight-or-fight response, but rather a blessed desire for repentance. Repentance will deliver a resolution through grace; be grateful, not fearful. Without repentance, expect to eventually be caught clinging to your fig leaves.
Be blessed in your shame, for God calls to you. Fear not his wrath, for it fell upon another out of love for you. Hiding is the mistake, for repentance is worth an eternity.
Your brother in Christ,
Thomas Goodrich