Biblical Masculinity

Sam carries Frodo into Mt. Doom. A still from the movie adaptation of Tolkein’s The Lord of the Rings

Despite what you hear in our culture today, men are struggling, greatly.  Men, on the whole, are in crisis.  Here are some basic facts:  Men are four-times more likely to commit suicide; men are three times more likely to die of a drug overdose; men are three times more likely to be the victim of violent crime; the gap in life expectancy between men and women has doubled in just the past ten years (on average, women now live 8 years longer than men).  The depression rate among men is skyrocketing, with the leading cause being isolation and loneliness.  Most men do not feel like they have close friendships:  Only 27% of men describe themselves as having close friendships (this number is one-half what it was 30 years ago); further, 15% of men say they have no close friends, at all, a number which has risen 500% since 1990.  There are changes occurring in our workforce that will have profound social ramifications, as men simply abandon the labor force.  By 2050, women will comprise the majority of most white-collar professions, which can be seen by the dramatic changes occurring in college enrollment.  It is anticipated that for this upcoming academic year, only 39% of college enrollees will be male.  Overall, currently, only 42% of college students are male, a dramatic drop just since 2011, when enrollment was nearly equal between males and females.   

This statistical parade of horribles could go on and on.   However, anecdotally, in our personal lives, don’t we all know men who are struggling?  Don’t we know men who have seemingly “checked out”; who do not seem motivated; who are depressed and isolating themselves?

This is a societal problem, for everyone, regardless of religious affiliation, but especially for the church.  Here, in my opinion, we have not done enough to confront the situation.  As people of faith in Christ, we, more than anyone, should understand that without families, you cannot have a civilization.  Each family is a brick in the foundation of our society.  We cannot have families, much less successful ones, without men who know how to be men; Godly men in the Biblical tradition.  

As Grace Church was preparing its mission trip to Honduras, I asked Mirna Mendoza, the principal at Brazos de Jesús School, about missional needs for the children and families.  She stopped me mid-sentence and asked, “How many men are coming from your church?  Are they married fathers?”  Mirna went on to say, “Come to Honduras and you will see heroic mothers struggling for their children in the midst of poverty, but you will see that in any impoverished place.  If you really want to know how a place is doing, look at their men.  If the men are struggling, then the entire community is struggling.  Pregnancy creates two new creatures:  a baby and a mother.  Women seem to understand instinctually how to be mothers, but men have to learn how to be fathers, and they learn by watching other men who provide the example.  So, tell your men to be an example to the young boys at my school.  That is what we need most from them.”  

In my own experience, I remember the day when it felt like a Godly man slammed a dagger in my heart.  At this point in my life, I was a consumer Christian; I attended church passively, without the commitment required from a father.  This man said, “Do you know the most reliable predictor for whether children grow up to attend church?  It is the father’s attendance and involvement in the church.  When dad takes something seriously, the children know to take it seriously, too.”

Christ provides the ultimate example of masculine virtue, for He is the man who fundamentally said: “I will die for you.  You deserve Hell, but I will go in your place.  Put me on the cross and send me to Hell because I can take it.  I do it to save you and the world.”  Then, Christ challenged men to life’s ultimate quest: “Now, that I have saved you, you take up the cross.  Take up your cross so that you may lead others through service and commitment.”  These are the masculine virtues that young men are yearning so desperately to hear:  Duty, Honor, Commitment and Responsibility.  Christ is the ultimate exemplar of these virtues.  

Growing up, I did not realize how much theological liberalism had infected my church experience.  With the image of Jesus I was taught, you would have thought He was the fifth member of the Beetles, because, “All we need is love!”  Jesus was this pasty figure who simply loved and tolerated everyone.  It is not that the image of Christ’s love is wrong, for surely He loves us, but there was no concept of sin or justice; there was no effort to speak to me, as a young man, about Jesus’s masculine virtues.  On the other end of the spectrum, I experienced Preacher Smiley, who I am sure we all know.  This is the guy who, from the pulpit, smiles at everyone, all the time.  Preacher Smiley is a people pleaser, who thinks his job is to make everyone happy.  From Preacher Smiley, I never heard the challenge to undertake the quest: “Jesus died for you.  Now, go take up your cross!”  

What is Biblical masculinity?  How should we define and articulate such a concept?  Several years ago, I attended a Bar Mitzvah, and remember well what the Rabbi had to say, because he expressed this concept excellently:

“What is the measure of a man?  What does it mean to be a man?  A child takes because he must do so in order to survive, but a man gives.  That is the line of demarcation between boyhood and manhood; when you stop taking and start giving.  What does a man give?  A man provides, as offering material support and comfort is something men do, but there is more that our wives and children need from us.  They need us to give of ourselves.  The measure of a man is what he gives; and, more specifically, what he gives of himself:  His time, his commitment, his intentionality and his will; that is what the world needs from us.  To be a man, that is the commitment you must make, for what you offer of yourself to others defines you as a man.”

Men, a great call to adventure has been laid down before you; the grand challenge and quest of your life beckons you to take up the cross, and to do so in emulation of the One who took up the cross for you.  

In Christ,

Mort Taylor